Reflection on EP Art of Marriage Retreat

By Rev Foo Yuk Yee (Senior Pastor of Living Praise Presbyterian Church)

Karen and I were looking forward to the Labour Day weekend. Most of the time, pastors and lay leaders are the ones conducting marriage preparation and enrichment retreats. But this time, we had the opportunity to attend the Art of Marriage (AOM) retreat as participants.

The retreat was held from 1–2 May at the Village Hotel Katong, and we attended it together with 13 other couples from various EP churches. It was organised by the English Presbytery as part of the EP’s focus on the family.

We were thankful for Elder Andrew, the EP Secretary, and his wife Choo, who ran the retreat with the help of one support staff each from the EP and CP office. Churches were invited to send their leaders, not only to benefit from the retreat personally, but also to evaluate the material and see whether it could be used as part of their own church’s marriage enrichment programme.

The AOM course consists of six video sessions and three projects, run over a two-day, one-night retreat. The sessions covered the following topics:

-            Love Happens: God's Purpose and Plan

-            Love Fades: Overcoming Isolation

-            Love Dances: Fulfilling Our Responsibilities

-            Love Interrupted: Communication and Conflict

-            Love Sizzles: Experiencing Real Intimacy

-            Love Always: Leaving a Lasting Legacy

I liked how the content was biblically grounded, especially in helping us think through our roles and responsibilities in marriage, and how to handle conflict in a Christ-centred way.

What I appreciated most was the opportunity to spend time with Karen, away from the busyness of ministry and family, and to be challenged from God’s Word to reflect on our marriage.

At the end of the first day, one of the projects gave us time to write a love letter to our spouse. It was a simple but meaningful exercise. We were able to affirm and encourage each other, and to reflect on how God has used our differences not just to complete us, but also to help us grow.

On the final day, we were reminded that our God-given Christian marriages are not just for ourselves. They are meant to be a blessing to those around us, as we live out and proclaim the gospel in our marriages. We also had the opportunity to renew our commitment to each other.

Churches may want to contextualise some parts of the material, since it is directed towards a US audience. But the AOM course can also be run largely as it is. Because it is a video-based programme, churches do not need to source a speaker each time they run it. What is needed is to purchase the videos and the participant handbooks, and then organise the retreat in a way that gives couples time to watch, reflect, talk, pray, and be encouraged in their marriages.

For churches looking for a structured, video-based marriage enrichment retreat, AOM is worth considering.